This has been around on the net for years. I don't know if it was ever on the McDonnell Douglas web site but it makes a good story.

McDonnell Douglas Customer Survey

Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

1. Personal Information:
   Mr.Mrs.Ms.MissLt.Gen.ComradeClassifiedOther First name: Initial: Last name:
   Code name: Password: (max 8 char)
   Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: : :

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2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
   Choose OneF-14 TomcatF-15 EagleF-16 FalconF-117A StealthClassified

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3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day):
   19 / /

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4. Serial Number:
   

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5. Please check where this product was purchased:
   Choose OneReceived as gift/aid packageCatalog showroomIndependent arms brokerMail orderDiscount storeGovernment surplusClassified
   

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6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:
   Choose OneHeard loud noise, looked upStore displayEspionageRecommended by friend/relative/allyPolitical lobbying by manufacturerWas attacked by one
   

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7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
   

   Style/Appearance	Speed/Maneuverability
   Price/value	Comfort/Convenience
   Kickback/Bribe	Recommended by salesperson
   McDonnell Douglas reputation	Advanced Weapons Systems
   Backroom politics	Negative experience opposing one in combat

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8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
   

   North America	Iraq	Central/South America
   Iraq	Aircraft carrier	Iraq
   Europe	Iraq	Middle East (not Iraq)
   Iraq	Africa	Iraq
   Asia/Far East	Iraq	Misc. Third World countries
   Iraq	Classified	Iraq

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9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in the near future:
   

   Color TV	VCR	ICBM
   Killer Satellite	CD Player	Air-to-Air Missiles
   Space Shuttle	Home Computer	Nuclear Weapon

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10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Check all that apply:)
    Choose OneCommunist/SocialistTerroristCrazedNeutralDemocraticDictatorshipCorruptPrimitive/Tribal
    

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11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
    Choose OneDeficit spendingCashSuitcases of cocaineOil revenuesPersonal checkCredit cardRansom money Traveler's check
    

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12. Your occupation:
    Choose OneHomemakerSales/MarketingRevolutionaryClericalMercenaryTyrantMiddle managementEccentric billionaireDefense Minister/GeneralRetiredStudent
    

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13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
    

    Golf	Boating/Sailing
    Sabotage	Running/Jogging
    Propaganda/Disinformation	Destabilization/Overthrow
    Default on loans	Gardening
    Crafts	Black market/Smuggling
    Collectibles/Collections	Watching sports on TV
    Wines	Interrogation/Torture
    Household pets	Crushing rebellions
    Espionage/Reconnaissance	Fashion clothing
    Border disputes	Mutually Assured Destruction

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Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!

Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:

McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
Marketing Department Military Aerospace Division