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The Needs of Men and Women |
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Written by Nick Kotarski
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Wednesday, 06 April 2005 |
The Needs of Men and Women
I never quite figured out why the s*xual urge of men and women differ
so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I
have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting
into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says
"I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!!
What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the
planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional
needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a
man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love
me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,
big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried
on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which
one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes
to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each
outfit. We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a
pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She
must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to
think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when
she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a
loop when I said, That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual
satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited
anticipation she finally said, I think this is all dear, let's go to
the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped
with a baffled "WHAT???!!!"
I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough
for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she
had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you
just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having s*x tonight either.
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