You Know You're An E-Mail Addict When...

• You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on they way back to bed.
• You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with Netscape Navigator 1.1 or higher."
• You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
• You spend half the plane trip with your laptop on your lap and your child in the overhead compartment.
• Your hard drive crashes. You haven't logged in for two hours. You start to twitch. You pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP's access number. You try to hum to communicate with the modem.... and you succeed.
• You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.
• You laugh at people with 9600-baud modems.
• You start using smilies in snail mail.
• You refer to going to the bathroom as "downloading."
• You start introducing yourself as "JohnDoe at AOL dot com."
• All of your friends have an @ in their names.
• You check your e-mail. It says "No new messages." So you check it again.
• Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.
• You don't know what sex three of your closest friends are because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.
• You tell the cab driver you live at "http://1000.edison.garden/house/brick.html"
• You start tilting your head sideways to smile.