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Tech Support |
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Written by Nick Kotarski
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Sunday, 10 April 2005 |
So you think you're computer-illiterate?
Check out the following excerpts from a Wall Street Journal article.
- Compaq is considering changing the command "Press any key" to
"Press the Enter key" because of the flood of calls asking where the
"any" key is.
- Gateway support had a caller complain that her mouse was hard to
control with the dust cover on. The dust cover turned out to be the
plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
- A Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that
the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes.
After troubleshooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the
problem, it was found that the customer had labelled the diskettes and
then rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels.
- Another Gateway customer was asked to send a copy of her
defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the
customer along with Xeroxed copies of the diskettes.
- A Dell technician advised a customer to put his troubled floppy
back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the technician
to hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and
crossing the room to close the door to his office.
- Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer
to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician
discovered that the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding
it in front of the monitor and pressing the "Send" key.
- Another Dell customer need help setting up a new program, so a
technician suggested he go to the local Egghead. "Yeah, I got me a
couple of friends," the customer replied. When told that Egghead was a
software store, the man said "Oh, I thought you meant for me to find a
couple of geeks,"
- Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no
longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling his tub with soap and water
and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and
washing them individually.
- A Gateway technician spoke to a customer who was enraged
because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid," The
technician explained that the computer's "bad command" and invalid
entry" responses shouldn't be taken personally.
- An exasperated caller to Dell couldn't get her new computer
to turn on. After making sure the computer was plugged in, the
technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button.
Her response was "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing
happened." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the mouse.
- A customer called Compaq to say her brand new computer wouldn't
work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for
20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what
happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power
switch?"
- This guy calls in to complain that he gets an "Access Denied"
message every time he logs in. It turned out he was typing his user
name and password in capital letters. Tech Support: OK, let's try once
more, but use lower case letters. Customer "Uh, I only have capital
letters on my keyboard."
- True story from a Novell NetWire technician: Caller: "The cup
holder on my PC is broken and I'm within my warranty period. How do I
get it fixed?" Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?" Caller:
"Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer." Tech: "Please excuse
me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did your receive this as
part of a promotional, at a trade show? How did you get this cup
holder? Does it have any trademark on it?" Caller: "It came with my
computer. I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '32X.'
on it." At this point the technician had to mute the caller, because he
couldn't stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the
CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and had snapped it off the drive!
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